nut hugger
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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