I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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