i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
