I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
