her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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