I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
