Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
