She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sext me about skeletons
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
