I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
