Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
