I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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