I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
