My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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