I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
