My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
