dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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