Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize