I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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