he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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