I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize