butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
