i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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