dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
