I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
