sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
