Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
