the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
