Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
