Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Two words: nipple clamps
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