That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
