my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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