I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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