It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
