im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Alive.
So much puke
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
