bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
