I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
