too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
