so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
