i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
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