No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
