During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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