Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
