I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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