Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
