god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
