What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
