im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize