Please, let me fuck your mom
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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