My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
