Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
