it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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