Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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