I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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