i may or may not be watching the land before time
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
