I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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