Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
