He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
