Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sorry my hands just texted you
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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