Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
