This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
