I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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