i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
it's like heaven, but drunker
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
