dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
