So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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