im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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