woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
