New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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