We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
