Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
